Tag: funny
member name: Dawne Joy
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September 21, 2006 05:48 PM EDT --
One day when a bill collecter called my sister-in-law she could hear her young daughter starting to argue very loudly. She finished what she was doing and snuck up on her daughter to see what was going . . .
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January 02, 2007 05:36 PM EST --
I loved this book. I love how Janet Evanovich is able to keep you interested in a mystery, and still be humerous at the same time. When I read her books, It seems like while I am busy trying to figure . . .
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November 20, 2006 01:16 PM EST --
Your feet stick to the kitchen floor..... and you don't care.
* When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
* You . . .
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December 22, 2006 11:22 PM EST --
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED!
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND . . .
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February 19, 2007 11:21 PM EST --
"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would . . .
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February 08, 2007 03:06 PM EST --
* How about never? Is never good for you?
* I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
* Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. . . .
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January 11, 2008 10:19 PM EST --
On Christmas my son Anthony was so excited. He got and air-hogs remote control plane. His dad and him took it out to play right away. His dad, Steve, decided he had to show him "how" to . . .
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September 29, 2006 05:21 PM EDT --
My daughter came home from school and told me 2 jokes today. I guess because I am on Gather all the time, she wanted me to publish them. They're really cute.
Why did the bunny . . .
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September 29, 2006 05:44 PM EDT --
I love animals. They taste great.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I.R.S. - We've got what it takes to take what you've got. . . .
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October 06, 2006 04:05 PM EDT --
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
If the pilgrims were alive today, what . . .
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December 09, 2006 10:25 PM EST --
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage "Some Assembly . . .
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January 29, 2007 07:59 PM EST --
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat . . .
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February 08, 2007 02:17 PM EST --
~I hate clowns, so I just had to post this....
Signs you've hired the wrong clown
* By the end of the party, he's got every damn kid doing the "pull my finger" trick.
* Clown car must . . .
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February 11, 2007 01:49 AM EST --
JOKE - 1
The cops raided the local brothel and had all the girls standing in line waiting to enter the paddy wagon.
A little old lady walked up and asked one of the girls what the line was . . .
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February 19, 2007 11:37 PM EST --
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked . . .
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September 13, 2006 02:48 PM EDT --
-found at aHajokes.com
Hello. Welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press "2". . . .
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October 27, 2006 09:48 PM EDT --
My daughter asked me if she could go outside and play with the boys. Her brother was outside and they were playing football. I told her "No, you can't play with the boys right now. They're . . .
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December 01, 2006 10:03 AM EST --
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't . . .
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October 28, 2006 01:37 PM EDT --
10.) You wake up at 3 am and stop to check Gather on your way back to bed.
9.) You're husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months.
8.) You start introducing yourself to people as mickey . . .
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November 20, 2006 11:59 AM EST --
- No longer signs paychecks in crayon.
- That new "Mr. Happy Meal."
- Distinctive odor of bourbon and stale cigars at personal appearances.
- Two words: sagging buns.
- Replacing floppy red . . .
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